How to Make our Jails more Diversified…

August 12, 2013

A friend of mine and I were discussing things the other day and I jokingly said “I know a way we can get the black population in prisons lowered. Arrest less blacks and more whites” Well, imagine my surprise that Obama is now asking schools to not punish blacks in school. The executive decision does not mention any other race, just blacks.

Wow, maybe I ought to find myself a lead room the next time I spout off or suggest inane ideas… (No, I really don’t think I warrant any special attention. I’m a custodial supervisor/supervising sanitation engineer, white Swedish American, 50 something, evangelical, male… then again, did you just hear that loud buzzing, was that a drone??? And why does my Mozilla keep hanging up when I try to go to a conservative web site???)

I do not know the author’s name to the next piece, but the wording is what I was joking about. After reading the latest Executive order and reading this guys article… well… It is quite scary that someone would take this stupid idea and make it a law…

Excuse me, Officer. I need to report a home invasion. These three black guys with shotguns just kicked in my door and —”

“Whoa, hey, hold on a minute there, pal. ‘Black guys’? Yeah, I’m gonna need you to leave that out of your statement.”

“… Why?”

“Look, man, don’t make this hard for me. Just this past week we’ve had to book thirty of these… ‘young African-American males’.”

“So?”

“So, that’s… what, 70 percent of all arrests for the station? You get me? YAAMs only make up —”

“YAAMs?”

“Young African-American males only make up, like, six percent of the county. And this week they’re 70 percent of arrests? I’m a white guy, for Chrissakes. Do you know how bad this looks? What happens when the Chief Diversity Officer sees this stuff?”

“Um…”

“I gotta turn some of these guys loose. Or lose them. Or something! If I don’t get my YAAM count down before the end of the month, the dang ‘Justice and Liberty’ squad is gonna haul me off to a Race-Hate Tribunal. They shoot guys like me, you know — ‘privileged’ white males. Dang, I don’t even have a state-certified Black Best Friend any more.”

“What happened to the last one?”

“Obvious? Man, you know. The usual usual.”

“Stabbed for his EBT card? Shot in a Kool-Aid dispute?”

“Yup.”

“Which one?”

“Both. Shot and stabbed, buying bulk Kool-Aid with his —”

“Okay, okay, I get it.”

“See, I could make up for that, if I only tripled my Social Circle Diversity Index. You’re not half-Cuban or anything, are you? Because we could go see a notary public right now. I’ll give you fifty bucks to say we met in college and —”

“Sorry, I’m not half anything.”

“Shucks. Worth a shot. God, I wish I knew more hot Persian girls.”

“Join the club.”

“Yeah, anyway. Gimme a break, will ya? Now, if a Chinese guy breaks into your house, scares your kids, messes up your wife a little, steals some bonsai trees and stuff—”

“Then you’ll be all over it?”

“I’ll bust some heads.”

“What if he’s a Chinese Jew?”

“… Don’t even joke about that stuff.”

Far-fetched?

~imstan~


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3 Responses to How to Make our Jails more Diversified…

  1. Jay on October 24, 2014 at 2:15 am

    .

    tnx for info!!

  2. Stephen on November 13, 2014 at 4:23 am

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    good.

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